One less for The Ark

To brighten up my Easter, I ran down to the local store to purchase a copy of the new Roland Emmerich disaster film 2012. I had read that it was filled with disasters of Biblical proportions and I couldn’t wait to watch them.

After a long introduction in which the various planets of the solar system aligned themselves, the film actually started in earnest. Trouble was though, once the actors in the film did start to speak, they did so in French, rather than in English.

Now my French isn’t all that good and although I did manage to understand a few phrases, I decided that I’d rather watch it in English. So, using my DVD remote controller, I quickly went to the all-too-familiar menu screen on the DVD to select the English version of the film instead.

And that’s when my problems started. You see, after I performed the operation and then restarted the film it appeared that the actors hadn’t got the message. No, they were still intent on speaking French.

Believing that I had made an error during the selection process, I went back to the menu screen to attempt to select the English version of the film again. Sadly though, this procedure proved futile. No matter how many times I selected the English version of the film, the DVD player appeared reluctant to carry out my request.

Rather flummoxed, I phoned the store to see if any other customers had returned their versions of 2012 due to the fact that they only appeared to work in French. And, although they admitted that none had, they were only too willing to exchange the film for another one if I was dissatisfied with it.

With a new copy of the film in my possession, I felt confident that at last I would be able to finally sit back and enjoy the spectacle of thousands of people dying horrifically as they were swallowed up by earthquakes, drowned by tsunamis or buried in masses of molten lava.

But alas, it was not to be – because the new DVD behaved as badly as the first one. Once again, no matter how many times I selected the English version from the menu, the actors still spoke French. This time, however, rather than take the DVD back to the store, I decided to take a close look at the remote controller of the DVD player to see if there were any functions that I had overlooked.

After a few minutes, I discovered that there were a set of buttons hidden underneath a sliding panel that I had previously been unaware of. One of these, naturally enough, was marked ‘audio’. And, after depressing said audio button, yet another menu appeared that swiftly switched the film from French into English.

As delighted as I was that I had finally discovered how to watch the movie in my native language, I couldn’t help but hope that, if 2012 does unfold the way that Emmerich envisages, that the individual that designed the remote-control unit for my DVD player doesn’t make it onto any of The Arks.

Dave Wilson
Editor, Electronicstalk

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